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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I NEED a Fashionista


A live in full time fashionista. And a barista. And a housekeepira. And a chefista.

That'd be grand.

Anyway, today was dress up day. Sure, I could have been sensible and worn warm clothes on this 22 degree day but I wanted to wear a dress. A summer dress. Because I like summer thankyouverymuch.

But I needed some warmth with the dress so I figured I would wear my slip under the blue dress with a pink henley shirt under it and big wool socks with boots. Cute?

I wasn't sure.

And since I don't have a full length mirror so it's a scary stand on a chair and scrunch your body down tricky move....

....I asked S1 how it looked. He thought it was a trick question and answered first with "Yah, it's fine" in a I-have-no-idea-why-she-asked-me-this tone then in a sicky sweet voice, " look nice all the time, Moma."

I knew that was a lie so I may have rolled my eyes, put on my super warm coat I got for FIVE dollars at a garage sale and decided I'd ask the first grade teacher at school.

S3's teacher is super sweet and I think she has gotten used to my...well, oddities.

She's probably questioning my sanity today.

When I got out of the suburban at school and the awful coldness of the morning hit me, I wrapped my long mid calf length coat around me and trudged up the sidewalk to the school. The wind was blowing at my coat and I thought in passing that I didn't recall my dress being so short.

Of course, it wouldn't seem short in summer, I reasoned.

And I continued on until I realized that, GASP, my SLIP was showing...not my cute knee length dress!

Picture this horror for a brief moment.

I am walking up the sidewalk in front of my boys school, surrounded by my boys, in full view of every parent in the drop off line.

And I look like I have neglige on under my coat and that I am not dressed in the least.

And there is no where to hide.

I desperately tried to pull my coat tighter and still hold on to the youngest boys, that doesn't work.

I whispered to S1 "My slip is showing!"

He did not get it. And wondered when the coffee would finally hit me so I acted somewhat sane again, I think.

We got into school and I considered hopping into the office to "adjust" myself but the office was teeming busy. So I darted in the little girls bathroom two forever long busy hallways away and yanked my dress that had gotten stuck on the back of my coat somehow and was literally as high as my panties.

I am sure there are parents out there who dropped their young children off at school thinking what a floozy I was.

Cuz I totally looked like it.


I got into the cozy warm and friendly first grade room where I asked KJ if the outfit looked all right and she totally liked the dress and shirt and thought I may want to change the boots for my taller ones....

And then I spilled how awful the dress riding up incident had been.

And she may have laughed at me. A little.

I made it down the halls without flashing anyone else to get the boys settled in their classes and return home where I was sure I should just change my whole outfit so no one could say "Hey, didn't I see you this, oh, nevermind."

But if I DID totally change my outfit, it would look like I had gone to school wearing nothing but a sexy little black neglige to run on home in.

So I wore the dress and the boots KJ suggested and it did look cute.

But I don't think I'll be wearing it again for a very long time.


Kristi said...


I've got a couple of fashionistas over here that would love to help you for the next dress up day!


Kristy said...

Oh, Denise! I have to admit I laughed pretty hard at this funny! Thanks for sharing!

Rachel said...

You crack me up! Glad you got your outfit straightened out! :)

Rachel said...

Too funny!

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...



The other day at the playground, there was a mom who wore black leggings. Except, her leggings were more tights, because they were see through, and her shirt was short like you would wear with jeans. And this mom obviously didn't wear panties that matched her black leggings/tights because you could see her butt.

See? It could have been worse!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, I laughed right out loud at this one. You would have been wise to wear the hoop rather than the slip, hehe.

Hey, I promise you that having 3 daughters who critic every thing you say, do, and wear ain't all it's cracked up to be ;-)

I'm sure you look pretty all the time Momma! No doubt! Your smile and sweet spirit outshine any outfits good or bad!