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Sunday, December 19, 2010

My Boys Asked Santa if He Drinks Beer

On Saturday, our awesome little library received a call from Santa Claus asking if he could stop in and say hello to all the good little boys and girls in our town. Our librarian sweetly told him that cookies and good boys and girls would await him. On Saturday morning, Santa flew his reindeer into town, bedded them down at one of the farms and hitched a ride with a farmer just to say hello to all the good boys and girls at the library.
Then he met my boys.
Our boys have never sat on Santa's lap. They are not sure about the whole Santa thing and the last two years we have just sort of gone along with the fun, not really mentioning Santa but not saying Santa isn't real either.
Well, S4 is convinced. Santa is real. He knows this because
A. Santa has a real beard (Not like the one on Elf who has a fake beard).
B. He has Santa's signature. Really, he does.
It was fun to see Santa walk in, watch all the boys and girls eyes get huge and run up to him to hug him and just be in awe that Santa was THERE, in the SAME ROOM as them...in the library they visit EVERY Saturday for story hour!
Because shyness soon swept over the kids, Santa began to flip through a book that was laying out on one of the study tables. My youngest two (only three of them came along, S1 was busy helping Daddy with wood) were sneaking alongside Santa, not saying a whole lot.
Yet.
This was the book Santa looked at....

Santa mentioned he remembered drinking Coke out of a glass bottle but he supposed that these little boys next to him didn't remember that.

S3 chirped right up. "No, but you can drink beer out of a bottle."

I.
Nearly.
Died.

"Yah!" S4 agreed, "You can! WE can't drink beer but sometimes our Daddy can."

"Yah, but not so much anymore." S3 added. "Do YOU drink beer, Santa?"

They.
Did.

Although I wanted to haul them out and....wait, no, I wanted to NOT claim them.
Do you drink beer, Santa?

Santa realized he probably needed to find a seat and sit down and try to leave this conversation. But the boys kept up with him, continuing to chatter away at Santa. He finally told them that, "No, Santa does not drink beer. It would be a crazy ride with the reindeer if he did and that just would not be good."

I hurriedly tried to get the boys to color pictures and let the other kids get some time with Santa. It took some doing. But I think I might have seen a look of relief in Santa's eyes. And maybe even a "I'll be sure to bring a little something special for you dealing with these boys all the time" wink. (well, I can hope!)
Then S3 asked for a BB gun. I hoped Santa said no...he didn't say yes so that is good. Santa did tell him he seemed young, he couldn't be shooting helpless animals or brothers. S3 informed him you CAN shoot birds. Santa told him he couldn't. S3 disagreed. I am pretty sure it won't be under the tree from Santa.

And then S4 asked for a "Piddow Pet" and if he can't find one, they are at Target. Lots and lot of them. Then S4 let him know there would be cookies and chocolate milk and white milk waiting for him and special sparkly oatmeal for his reindeer he arrived.

If he gets here.

And there won't be beer.

12 comments:

The Farmer said...

Funny, I'm pretty sure Santa drinks beer around here, and next year might be the yea for Maggie's first rimfire rifle. They come in pink you know. She has one all picked out.

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodness. I could see my boys asking that question. Sounds like you all had a good time.....and another wonderful story to tell.

Stephanie said...

Oh my goodnes! I can definitely see my boys doin something like this. Sounds like ya'll had a good time...and another great story to tell!

Becca @ Our Crazy Boys said...

LOVE how honest and genuine kids are.

Last year, Santa (or, a guy my Mom works with) called our house to talk to the boys. He was awesome, until Jack said, "I'll leave you milk, ok?" and Santa said, "No, a Budweiser Santa drinks Budweiser."

I about died. And I told my Mom thankyouverymuch, but he was not allowed to call again.

Chelsea @ Vicarious Chelsea said...

Ok that Santa is definitely a fraud. Santa DEFINITELY drinks beer! How else did he get that beer belly? hmmm? See, proof!
Personally, I would love to sit and have a cold one with Santa one day. Oh the stories he must tell...

Karen said...

That's hilarious! Love it!

Karen said...

P.S. - do you mind if I share a link to this post on my facebook page?

Tanya Eby said...

Hahahaha! My kids haven't asked Santa that, but that's because I won't let them get close enough. Ha! At least they knew that you are only supposed to drink a little beer sometimes...and they didn't ask because Santa SMELLED like beer. Hysterical. :)

happyhome said...

That is so funny! Of course it's always funnier when its someone elses kids saying those things, right? Had several of those "crawl under my chair" moments with our four kiddos. Great Santa btw.

Megan (Best of Fates) said...

Man, he has to fly all over the world in one night *and* there's no alcohol? That Santa, he's got it rough.

~Ginger said...

Best Christmas story ever. You guys will be talking about this for years to come.

Can son4 come live with me. I'm a lonely old lady who needs a little boy to come live with me and brighten my days ;-)

Love this post. Now, I'm off to have a beer in your kids honor. JK

The Farmer's Wife said...

Pretty sure Santa succumbs to a little rum punch after his big run, on Christmas Eve....

Love this!