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Sunday, May 20, 2012

What To Do If You Find a Dead Man on The Side of The Road

This weekend has been fun and insanely busy.

But probably the story we will be telling the most will be about how I found a dead man on the side of the road Sunday morning.

That was NOT fun.

It was, however, insane.

Ready for this one?

I woke up earlier than normal on Sunday morning and since my washing machine died, I figured I would sneak out of the house before all the boys were awake and get some laundry done at the laundry mat.  I arrived before 6:30, found it closed until 7, so I headed back home.

As I passed the body shop on our road, I did a double take at a large man lying on his back just off the road in the front of the body shop's car ports for sale.

I slammed on my breaks.

Did I really just see this????

The man was well over six foot, I would guess.  One arm was laying above his head, the other across his chest.  He had a long black goatee, black jeans and a green t-shirt covered his large belly.

I went to turn into the next drive to turn around and then thought...

What am I thinking?

I could SEE my driveway so I sped home and burst into the door calling for Jake.

He stumbled sleepily from the bedroom where he had been sleeping.  "What? What is it?"

"I, uh, I think I just saw a dead man at Hinkles!"  I began to shake.

"I'll get dressed.  You call 911."

I called 911.  I told them specifically what the man looked like, what car port he was next to and the name of the business, location on the road etc etc.

Jake jumped in the suburban with me and we sped down the road.  We slowed as we came upon the man.  "Oh!" I cried, "He's not dead! His arm is in a different place!"

Jake parked the suburban and got out.  He walked over to the man.  Looked at him.  Walked back to the suburban.  "The guy is totally wasted and snoring.  Let's just see what the cops do when they get here."

To not be in the way, we drove to the Family Dollar across the way and watched.

Any minute they would arrive.....

Another car slowed.

One turned around in the greenhouse drive.

"We better go tell everyone we called 911," I said.

We drove back to Hinkle's parking lot.  But the other vehicles just slowed to look at the man and drove off.  The owner of Hinkle's arrived.  He parked to the side of the building, I am not sure if he even was aware what we were doing there or of the man lying on his front lawn.

"Want to take a picture of the guy?" my husband asked.

"It just feels wrong." I said.


A car pulled up along side the man and leaned out the window.  I could see the siren lights down the road.

"Let's tell that guy the ambulance is nearly here."  My husband drove up to the man in the car who would not even look at us but was leaning well out of his car window.  "It's almost like the guy seems to know him..." Jake mused to himself.

"JAKE!" I nearly squealed, "I think all those sirens just turned into our driveway! THE BOYS!!!!"

I was imagining my sound asleep boys being awoken to no parents and a police swat team swarming the house.

I didn't know our suburban could go from zero to 75 so fast.

The sirens were NOT in our driveway but had turned just after our drive.  TURNED AROUND AND WENT THE OPPOSITE WAY!!!!

Jake slowed the suburban and I leapt out.

I realized later I leapt out with coffee still in hand.

Jake raced toward the sirens, hazards on.

The police and ambulance turned and zoomed toward Hinkle's.

Mere moments late.

Nearly 20 minutes after my call.

The owner of Hinkle's and Jake gave the police a full description.  The man at Hinkle's knew EXACTLY what vehicle the man who had shoved the severely wasted man was driving before he off.


Hubs arrived home.  The boys just began to wake.  They were oblivious to our morning excitement.

All before seven in the morning.


So, we learned some valuable lessons today.

I should have called 911 as soon as I spotted the man.

We should have taken pictures to show the police.

We should have gotten a plate number.

But I sincerely hope I never see who I think is a dead man on the side of the road again.

1 comment:

The Farmer said...

You forgot, We should have taken a black permanent marker and gave him a face tattoo while he was passed out, oh and shaved his eyebrows.