And here is the gut honest truth, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go.
I was sooooooo very tired. Okay, exhausted. Sort of in a funk. Friday nights are our family lazy nights and I felt bad leaving the boys behind. Hubby and I were on edge, not fighting, per se, but not our favorite people either - you know what I mean?
We were all tired.
But I knew I would regret not going. I knew I wanted to be there and would kick myself if I didn't go. And hubs gave me a big hug, laid a big kiss on me and told me to just go and have fun.
I love that man.
So I baked up some cookies and arrived an hour late to Sue's house where I have spent countless hours over the years.
I knew Jaime, she's a sweetie. I have met Kristine, she spoke at the last Praise and Coffee. I knew Mel, obviously, she is Sue's right hand woman in so many ways. I didn't know the other two women at all.
And here is more gut honest truth, I didn't think I belonged there. Of course, I am jumping into their conversation and so you have that sort of feeling lost moment, I was with women I have huge respect for and two more I didn't know, I don't usually do well meeting new people....
And then there's the whole thought process of "I am so sleepy. Did I put the cookie dough away? Will the boys have fun? Does Sue have more coffee? Oh look, apple crisp, I have been so craving that this week! I think I'll just make another pot of coffee. Really, what am I doing here?"
In high sunshine times of day, stressful moment, happy times, angry confrontations, simply eating ketchup, etc, (anything that brings any sort of strong emotion or taste) my neck and chest turn red and blotchy. It's a curse. It wish I could figure out how to NOT have it happen. THAT thought ran through my head too "Oh, I hope I don't look red and blotchy....."
The night was not looking good for me. And it probably wasn't looking good ON me either.
Because I walked in thinking I didn't belong. My blog is all about our farming life here. It's not a ministry...though if it DOES minister, HOORAY. I write because all day there are words and sentences bouncing in my head,moments I want to capture before I forget entirely. I am a better mom on the days I get to blog. If none of you ever read this, I would still be typing away. that you do write it makes it more fun. Thank you.
But this is what happened......
I was encouraged.
I met Ginger, whom I have no idea who she was but I think we are going to become good friends. This woman not only brought the apple crisp (super yummy, thank you!), she shared her heart and I wondered where she had been all my life. This woman's heart is beautiful.
I met Jennifer. I had no idea I actually KNOW Jennifer from facebook and twitter. But I didn't put it all together until she had left. What a bummer! This girl is someone I have tweeted with and thought she totally rocked not knowing I was friends with her on facebook and not having a clue she blogged. Ug, what a moment lost! Jennifer, apparently my brain is way fried. So sorry I didn't make the connection at all! (oh, and GO STATE!)
Kristine has a discerning spirit and I was sure at some point she was going to turn and see right through me to the "you don't feel you belong" heart I struggle with. But she didn't. She's amazing. Once upon a time I was leering of her, now I wonder how anyone could think that. Her ministry touches many.
Jaime writes devotional blogs from inspirational music. A true gift. She has had a very rough week, and yet she sat there being as sweet as she always is. I have known Jaime since she and I and Sue went to our very first every writers conference. I feel because of that we have a special bond.
Then there is Mel. Good gracious, she is Dory and that makes me love her more! I have a feeling that Mel can look at someone, have them analyzed and figure out how to help them be better in .5 seconds. In a good way. I have gotten to know her through Sue, and ladies, this woman is as real as any one of us and funny as a hoot and she connects with people online I have seen connect people. Wow. I hope she makes it up her again very soon, I'll even kidnap her to take her to Starbucks, I know where there is one a mere twenty minutes away.
Sue, well, you all know Sue if you follow this blog at all. She is a natural born leader, a visionary, a woman with a heart that strives to please God. I am honored to work with her on Praise and Coffee, blessed to have her as my bestest writing buddy and grateful in ways I could never put in words for her friends ship.
So when I read this tweet...
@karen_hammons - @Mels_World @praiseandcoffee @zaankali @kristinemac @life4boys @gingerbehrens What a powerhouse group of women to be with!! Awesome!
...I thought to myself "If they consider me part of this "powerhouse group", I am more than honored and ever so humbled."
Thank you, ladies, for a wonderful night and for loving on the over tired mom who arrived heavy burdened but left gleefully light.
So gleeful, it turns out that I nearly drove off Sue's driveway checking to see what I was tagged in on facebook and then I was instantly mortified that Sue's husband would have seen me (and never let me live it down) so I put the phone down and cranked the stereo. I looked for anything I could sing to, and I came across THIS song. I hit every high note (I didn't say it sounded good, I just said I hit them...). But I had to sing the song with my nose plugged because someone had hit a skunk (I barely missed hitting two possums and one raccoon in my 11:30 drive home) and I did manage to not run over the skunk but I did drive with my fingers pinching my nostrils shut.
Plugging your nose and singing at the top of your lungs. Even I knew how funny I had to sound and started to giggle.
I blame Sue in part, for not giving me the caffeinated coffee I needed that brought me to this silly moment. But it sure was a fun way to end the night.
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