Showing posts with label pee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pee. Show all posts

Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Pee Talk

I write this cautiously.

I don't really want to share this with you but since the boys keep telling the story and anyone who hears it doubles over in laughter and then says, "Now, there's a blog post for you!" I am typing this out to you.

Those of you with just daughters may not understand this blog post and should read with caution.

I am often asked for S3 updates.  There aren't nearly as many blog posts or facebook updates with him because he lives in a world all his own.  He's friends with everyone and most anything just rolls off his back.  He talks the least of all the boys and hugs the most.  He has, by far, learned how to annoy his brothers the best.

Well, here is a S3 story for you.

On a bright sunny day, my boys boarded the big yellow school bus and began the hour long ride home.  Because we live in the country, we have a lot of dirt roads around here.  Friends of ours recently returned from Africa, as in the wilds of Africa where they make a day long trip into a city to purchase groceries for the next weeks of living in the middle of nowhere they lived.  When they have traveled the dirt roads near our home they have declared them by far worse than the roads they traveled in Africa.

That is some bad rough pot holed roads.

My boys bounced around in this bus.  Often kids stand just to take the shock off their spines in bouncing on the bus.  My S3 kept asking Mandy, our friend as well as great bus driver, how much longer until they arrived home. Most kids DO ask "how much further?" but she was even surprised at him continually asking her.

As they pulled to a stop in front of the house, I watched from my kitchen window as my darling boys hopped off the bus and ran for the driveway.

Except S3 stopped soon after taking a few running steps into the yard.  He dropped his backpack, unzipped his zipper and let the pee flow.

Yes, my son, in the broad daylight, with the bus stopped at our driveway and a line of vehicles (oddly, even Mandy commented on that) waiting for the bus to move on, stood there peeing.



The other boys, laughing, ran from him.

S3 didn't care a bit.  Back arched, I could swear I could hear him saying "ahhhhhh" as he finally was able to pee after being jostled around on the bus for an hour.

Mandy tried to put the bus in gear as quickly as possible to drive away but she said she was laughing so hard and when the few kids on the bus did realize what they were doing, they all started laughing too.

I had a strict talking to with S3.  I informed him that if he had to pee so badly he couldn't make it into the house (boys...they feel the whole world is their urinal!) then at least wait until he made it to the pine trees so they were shielding him as he peed.

He agreed solemnly.

Yesterday, I picked the boys up from school.  S3 was the first to make it into the suburban and after he had climbed in his seat in the back, I hopped out to chat a quick second to a friend of mine two vehicles over.  When I got back in the suburban, S3 was gone.  His brothers were all climbing in and he wasn't there.

Suddenly, he was climbing back into the suburban, stepping on his brothers as he climbed over the seat again.  "Where were you?" I asked, shocked.

"I had to pee.  Don't worry.  I stood behind a snow bank this time."

So glad that "pee" talk really stuck with him.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Because Hubs Said I Would....

My husband informed me that I would share this with all my blogging friends.

I said I would not.

And now I am.

Once again, he is correct.
     (And now he is framing this post.)

Sunday we went to church.  We haven't been there in forever because the boys have been sick and I refuse to leave the house if my husband has to plow.  I figure if he has to plow, we need to stay home.

Anyhow.

We have junior church duty.  We had all boys aged 7 to 5.  When I asked them what they could ask God to help them with, something they were having a tough time with, one little boys squeaked out, "I fart a lot.  Like, a whole lot.  I think God needs to help me not fart so much."

The boys agreed solemnly in unison.

It was a struggle they all had.

My supportive husband left the area laughing, I had to agree this was definitely something to ask prayer for.

We will be discussing this further next week.

Ya'll may need to pray for me on that one.

Apparently it was a great church service to miss because the congregation was feeling all convicted.  Husband felt we should get the cd from the service but ignorance seemed the perfect bliss to me.  I was okay to not feel convicted on my sunny Sunday.

I think we'll get the cd on Wednesday.

Apparently my husband is correct AGAIN and it's always good to grow.
     (He is for sure to frame this post now.  Two times I say he is right!)

I told you all that to tell you this....

Some of you may be shocked to know that at times....my boys can embarrass me.

And Sunday was one of those days.

Jake and I left the church to head for the suburban and round up some boys - any that wanted to go home with us, basically - and S4 seen us and began to wail.

Loudly.

And hold himself.

From clear across the parking lot, he began to yell in pain.

"I have to go number one and I can't hooooooooooold it!"

So what does my husband say?

"Here!  Just lean against the tire and pee here."

I, mortified, got in the suburban and sat down.

My now happy son climbed cheerfully into the vehicle.

My practical husband said, "Oh, you know you'll blog about this."

"Oh no", I said, "I don't think they need to know what redneck hillbillies we are.  Or rather, YOU are."

"You married me," Jake grinned.

This whole blog post makes me feel the need to shop for shoes.  High heeled girly ones.  

(And...all the labels were already in my list of blog post labels...pee, church, fart and embarrassing. Sigh. Welcome to my life.)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

HELP!

Dear Blogging friends.

I need help.

A particular conversation has been happening in our home much more regularly and I am running out of answers so...help me...I beg of you. (I've asked my husband, he only laughs at me.)

We have one bathroom.

I do not foresee us getting another one. At this point, I have to admit, I'd give up our small space for an extra one.

Because....

Every morning I get up before the boys, shower and proceed to get ready for the day. And every morning S4 (who's five, remember) comes into the bathroom, pees and says to me....

"Moma, why don't girls pee like boys?"

UG!

I've answered that we are different, that girls like to sit....etc etc etc. I always change the subject quickly.

But he is determined. He is quite sure since EVERYONE else in the house pees STANDING UP, Moma should too.

He is just trying to be helpful.

I know he will solve all the worlds problems one day.

But this one? He can't solve this one. And he is convinced I am just wrong and all will be wonderful when I come around to his way of thinking.

It's not that I pee in front of him. It's not like that at all. It's every time he pees at home, he thinks of his dear sweet Moma who doesn't know how to pee right and he must help her.

Help me. Please help me.

Sincerely,
the only girl in a house of boys