Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Pee Talk

I write this cautiously.

I don't really want to share this with you but since the boys keep telling the story and anyone who hears it doubles over in laughter and then says, "Now, there's a blog post for you!" I am typing this out to you.

Those of you with just daughters may not understand this blog post and should read with caution.

I am often asked for S3 updates.  There aren't nearly as many blog posts or facebook updates with him because he lives in a world all his own.  He's friends with everyone and most anything just rolls off his back.  He talks the least of all the boys and hugs the most.  He has, by far, learned how to annoy his brothers the best.

Well, here is a S3 story for you.

On a bright sunny day, my boys boarded the big yellow school bus and began the hour long ride home.  Because we live in the country, we have a lot of dirt roads around here.  Friends of ours recently returned from Africa, as in the wilds of Africa where they make a day long trip into a city to purchase groceries for the next weeks of living in the middle of nowhere they lived.  When they have traveled the dirt roads near our home they have declared them by far worse than the roads they traveled in Africa.

That is some bad rough pot holed roads.

My boys bounced around in this bus.  Often kids stand just to take the shock off their spines in bouncing on the bus.  My S3 kept asking Mandy, our friend as well as great bus driver, how much longer until they arrived home. Most kids DO ask "how much further?" but she was even surprised at him continually asking her.

As they pulled to a stop in front of the house, I watched from my kitchen window as my darling boys hopped off the bus and ran for the driveway.

Except S3 stopped soon after taking a few running steps into the yard.  He dropped his backpack, unzipped his zipper and let the pee flow.

Yes, my son, in the broad daylight, with the bus stopped at our driveway and a line of vehicles (oddly, even Mandy commented on that) waiting for the bus to move on, stood there peeing.

The other boys, laughing, ran from him.

S3 didn't care a bit.  Back arched, I could swear I could hear him saying "ahhhhhh" as he finally was able to pee after being jostled around on the bus for an hour.

Mandy tried to put the bus in gear as quickly as possible to drive away but she said she was laughing so hard and when the few kids on the bus did realize what they were doing, they all started laughing too.

I had a strict talking to with S3.  I informed him that if he had to pee so badly he couldn't make it into the house (boys...they feel the whole world is their urinal!) then at least wait until he made it to the pine trees so they were shielding him as he peed.

He agreed solemnly.

Yesterday, I picked the boys up from school.  S3 was the first to make it into the suburban and after he had climbed in his seat in the back, I hopped out to chat a quick second to a friend of mine two vehicles over.  When I got back in the suburban, S3 was gone.  His brothers were all climbing in and he wasn't there.

Suddenly, he was climbing back into the suburban, stepping on his brothers as he climbed over the seat again.  "Where were you?" I asked, shocked.

"I had to pee.  Don't worry.  I stood behind a snow bank this time."

So glad that "pee" talk really stuck with him.

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