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Thursday, April 5, 2012

Husband Disregarded the Warning

I gave my husband fair warning.  

He completely disregarded it.

He likes to live dangerously, I suppose.

Let's begin by stating the fact that it is spring break.  And there is now a fridge on my front porch...filled with worms.  


Wednesday I woke early and had my coffee slowly, watching the sun rise as I cleaned my kitchen.  I was the only one awake and it was a rather lovely time.  When S4 stumbled down the steps he greeted me with the sweetest, "Good Morning, Mama".  You know when they say something in such a way that makes your heart melt? It was that sort of greeting.

My nephew's have been staying with us on Wednesday's and I wanted to have the house cleaned before they arrived.  L is nearly three and H is about nine months.  At nine months he crawls and I have realized our house is FAR from being baby proofed.  On this day I decided I needed to mop our floors.

I asked the boys to pick up their stuff.  The fighting began. "That's not mine."  "Yes, it is." "No, it is not." "Yes, it is." "Mama, so and so is not helping!" 

And somehow cleaning turned to wrestling.

Wrestling makes mama shove them all outdoors.

S1, who I realize all the time is a huge huge huge help to me, was helping Daddy at work so it was the three youngest.  Three is not a good number when it comes to brothers, I'm thinking.

Anyhow, I went to mop the floor.  I had *this* itty bitty much of lysol left so I dumped some bleach in there to make it extra powerful clean.  I turned the water on as hot as it would go.  I dropped my amazing tornado mop in the bucket, thankful Renee persuaded me to buy a mop so that I no longer had to scrub the floor on my knees - that was honestly my thought, I can not make it up - as my mop handle literally rusted right in half.

I did not even know it was rusty!

I couldn't dump the water out because it was all the soap I had so I poured in some cold and began scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees.

The boys had been warned to stay outside but suddenly S4 burst into the door and was rattling off his emergency so fast I had a hard time making out his words.  S3 just stood there dramatically sobbing loudly.

S2 had thought it would be a great idea to let the bunnies have exercise.  Spot the bunny had decided that hopping was so great he managed to hop himself to the middle of the road.

So, I am standing there in pj shorts...ones that cover what need to be covered but nothing to be seen in. I had on no bra and an old t-shirt.  

But a bunny was on the brink of death. 

I pulled my husband's sweatshirt, slipped on my shoes, and ran for the road.  The bunny had made it safely back to our yard and we had the tricky job of catching him.

Thankfully, the hop had wore the little thing out and S2 scooped him up.

S3 put Spot back in the cage to rest.  He was pretty sure he had had enough exercise. We all concurred with that idea.

I finished scrubbing the floor, jumped in the shower to wash off the mud of the floors (I will spare you their gross state) and when dressed I was feeling all could be right with the world again I saw this.....

Granted, you may not know what THIS is.  It is mud.  The boys had decided to make mud to smooth out some bumps in the driveway.  Were there bumps in the driveway?  None that I knew of!  And know they were sinking in mud that covered their shoes.

What is that step?  Oh, just the first step onto our porch to enter our house.

I may have turned into mean mom then.  I made them all take their shoes off before they entered the house...but really, I knew my hour mopping the floors was going to prove naught by the end of the day.

The boys picked a flower to apologize.
So I wrote this to my husband on Facebook....

Dearest husband, before 10am I had cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, folded and took care of said laundry, bandaged wounds, stopped quarrels, mopped all floors on my hands and knees cuz the mop broke, saved Spot the bunny from certain death and only had 2 cups of coffee. All this BEFORE my nephews arrive. By the time you get home the house will be trashed and at this rate I will be an exhausted mumbling crazed woman. Be extra nice to me and bringing a gift home may be a wise move. You have been warned.

He called about this time to say as the route would have him go he would be driving by the house so we took ourselves out to the road to wave hello to him. (I may super love this photo)
My nephews arrived and the fun began.  I had, by this time, recuperated from the morning and had began to fill up on coffee.  I had clothes on the line and the managed to pick up enough bb's and air soft balls to cause me to wonder if they had a mini war in the house while I was sleeping.

When H woke up, he was all grins and smiles and cuteness for me, as usual.
Dinner was done and the dishwasher was loaded.

I kept busy all afternoon with H and L.  The boys had a blast but there were cookies to dispense and milk to be poured and just the natural hub bub of five of who was just crawling.

When my husband called to tell me he was on his way home, he was surprised to hear our nephews there.  "Didn't you read what I tagged you in on facebook?" I asked.

"I started too," he admitted, "But it was too long.  Hey, what are we having for dinner?"

I. Did. Not. Scream.

When my husband pulled in, the table was set and the food was on the plates.

Was I exhausted and running on the fumes of coffee? You bet.

As we were eating the lasagna, my husband told me how great it was (brownie points to get him out of his hole!) and then he said, "Hey, did you make this with sausage?"

"Mmhmm," I grinned, "It adds a nice flavor, don't you think?"

He cut up a piece of the sausage.  "Did you cook it until it was done?"

Silently fuming.  "Yes."

"Are you sure? I mean, did you use the my meat thermometer to make sure?" He caught the look in my eye.  "I, um, am, um, sure it is fine or, uh, done."  When he didn't think I was looking he cut another piece of sausage up to check for pinkness.  He saw I had seen him and quickly ate the piece of sausage telling me how good it was.

S1 laughed.  "Daddy, I think you just dug yourself in a hole."

After dinner, I told the boys to clear the table and make sure that everything was picked up because it had been earlier today and I wanted it that way when we went to bed.

"I did not mop these floors for the house to look trashed," I said, standing up from the dinner table to make yet more coffee.

"Hey, did you mop the floors?" My husband looked at the floors.  "Hey, you did!  Wow, they look great!'

I smiled, tilted my head and said, "You would know this if you had read my too long message to you."

He grinned.  Swatted my butt as I walked away. "You can't stay mad at me, baby."

And he's right, I just can't.

Because what are clean floors compared to this?
The joy of my boys' faces on a good day playing outside, catching snakes in the sunshine.

But did I curl up in my husband's arms that night and fall immediately asleep?  You better believe it.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Do you know that you are great at telling a story? You remember details and include them in such a way that I, the reader, feel like I'm right I can picture the whole thing taking place.

By the way, my husband would do the same thing...not read a message from me in it's entirety because it was 'too long'. Hmph! Men! He's lucky you made him lasagna!