I don't get very many phone calls. And, no, my phone doesn't look like this but wouldn't a phone like this be so cool? Especially if it were turquoise.
As I was saying, I don't get phone calls very often. I'm just not much of a chat on the phone sort of gal. Unless I am chatting with the Farmer's Wife. But lately, my phone rings in the morning and I know exactly who it is.
I get a sick feeling in my stomach.
I carefully pick up the phone, I cringe at the name, my face wrinkles in pain as I tentatively answer, "Hello?"
And it's the school, the office gals, whom I love.
These are the conversations I have had with them....
"Um, Denise, you need to come over to the school. Your son's toe...yah, you just need to come over and see it." S3 had kicked the soccer ball with his summer shoes on and literally tore the top layer of the bottom of his big toe right off. It was just flapping in the wind. I asked for bandages and got it taken care of in no time flat.
"We're sorry to call," they said, "But we knew you were right across the road and would want to see it."
They are right, I did want to see it and I was glad they called me.
"Denise? Your son just threw up."
S4 had a cough and I am quite certain that his cough that morning was the cause of his throw up because I ran to pick him up (this was the day I was unshowered and looking "rough" was a nice way to describe my appearance) and he then proceeded to eat a huge plate of macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes.
"This is the office. Uh, your son has poison ivy all over his leg. We just need to know if we can put something on it so it doesn't itch so much."
As it turned out, they didn't have calamine lotion so I ran to the store, got that and anti itch lotion and dropped it off at school. I had a little ivy dry and we poured that over his leg, the leg that hadn't been mentioned at all all weekend. The added bonus of the ivy dry? It looked like his skin was peeling off his leg and it was So. Cool. Or so I hear.
The craziest call was this...
"Denise? The school. Somehow your son has had an accident. He is going to need all new clothes."
I couldn't hardly believe this one. And on this particular day, I was at work all alone so I couldn't just leave the library open and run home and get clothes and return.
But I did have the suburban and we have been pretty much living in it with football season and all. I quick climbed all over the seats (in a dress, mind you) and found enough half eaten food and half drinken water bottles to live on for a week as well as numerous shirts, a pair of clean folded socks (we don't even have those at home!) and, oddly enough, a pull up.
As it turns out, this son of mine had an apple and brought it in the bathroom when he had to go pee. Why, I don't know. He doesn't know. Anyhow, he didn't want to put the apple down in the bathroom (thank goodness he thought that much through) but he couldn't just undo his pants so he just unzipped his pants like big boys do and pulled out his "pee-er thing" (as he calls it) but his pee-er thing didn't get out far enough and pee went e v e r y w h e r e.
I don't think that word "everywhere" is even strong enough.
Daddy happend to be getting out of work early so I frantically called him, grabbed my son from the school sick room, had him run for the suburban in his long tshirt he got from someone at school, got him into the library and a movie turned on for him with one minute to spare before opening time.
Daddy arrived a few minutes later and saved the day with new pants and underware.
I tell ya, I never know what the school is going to call for.
I am just thankful they always do call me, and I am so thankful I have those office women to help me out this school season.
But just once, I'd love a call like this...
"Denise? It's the school. You're boys have no injuries or sickness today. We just thought you'd like to celebrate that."
Of course, then we would probably jinx ourselves.
(Thank you Chris and Regina for taking such good care of us!)