Thursday, November 29, 2012

I Need An Assistant

I had just returned from my first ever trip to Costco.  We were out of everything...except pancake batter and coffee...and in all the busyness of the day, I realized I had forgotten to eat and was happy to pour myself a bowl of cereal.  Milk really is a wonderful thing to have in the house.

The phone rang and a child called out, "Toll Free!" so I poured on the milk and stepped over boxes and shoes and toys to get to the table to work on our puzzle that we have been working on all week and just cannot seem to finish.

The answering machine began to record the message of a girl saying, "Calling for Denise.  This is Republic Waste Services, we have received the receipt of the bill we sent you in a sealed, stamped envelope.  You filled out the receipt but we did not receive form of payment."

I answered the phone.

Yah, I really did make out a bill, seal the envelope, stamp it and drive it down to the post office to be sent without EVER making out the check.

I apologized and tried to get her to laugh about it but apparently it was not as funny to her as it was to me.

These past weeks have just been like that for me.  I cannot remember what day it is for anything.  I cannot keep weeks straight.  I have overbooked myself three times now and I hate saying, "I am really sorry, but I just realized that that is the same day that we are doing this...."


The best one was when I received an email saying, "See you Friday!" and I responded with, "Where do we meet on Thursday?"  Because "SEE YOU FRIDAY" was in bright blue, huge font and I was responding to that email.

The house is a mess.  I have no idea what to make for dinner.  My children nearly cried in joy when I brought home groceries.  I still have Christmas letters to write.  Christmas shopping to do.  Parties to attend.  Kid's homework to work on.  Books to read and books I want to read.  Blogging, how I miss it!

So I decided I needed an assistant.

Here is the thing - NO ONE wants to be my assistant.  They know if they were my assistant they would need an assistant to assist them assisting me.

How sad is that?

So I decided....

I need minions

They are cute, the make no sense and they can accomplish great feats.  They are happy to live underground and they always seem giggly silly happy.

Yes, I need minions.

Anyone else with me on this one?


Anonymous said...

I could not agree more! We really need to figure out how to find those little guys- it would make life so much easier!

Jillian said...

I am so with you on that! MINIONS!!!
I'm going with the one-eyed variety, so that they don't see the mess around them, only the mess in front of them. Otherwise they might cry and curl into a fetal position and log onto facebook.
That's what I do when I realize how much work is ahead of me.
Do you have the number for 'Minions R us'?
I'll take 3. One for each male that lives in my house.
I'm sooooo with you.

Jillian said...

I'm with you! MINIONS!!!
I'm going with the one-eyed variety. That way they can only see the mess in front of them, not all around them. Otherwise, they might curl up into the fetal position, cry, and log onto facebook. At least, that's what I do when I'm totally overwhelmed by my 'to-do' list of the day.
I'll take 3; one for each of the males in my house. Do you have the number for 'Minions R Us'?
Minions. Brilliant.

Unknown said...

I'm with you on it for sure! I have one in high school on the Cross Country Team and Marching Band. One I homeschool and is involved with travel baseball (year round) oh and I did I forget to mention we are in the process of putting our house on the market and I run a business that is NOT from my house....LOL! My hubby works all the time too...I wonder how much we could get minions for if we went in together;)

Barbara Rogers Buchanan said...

Sounds good to me! May I have one for the school me and one for my home? :)

Anonymous said...

Sign me up, I would love having minions! It would at least keep things afloat most days.

Absolutely loved this post!


JoAnn Cherrington said...

I am so there with you! I do the Costco thing once a month for the main shopping and then I do little trips to other stores for other stuff. I have done the whole crazy schedule and worse as I used to work for Toys R Us! If you haven't seen Hannah Keeley's blog or site I suggest you check it out. She's been helping me a lot with removing the crazy out of my days. I love reading your blog as it helps me realize I am not alone! Hang in there, stop apologizing and let your kids be loud while you are on the phone. The more chaotic it sounds the more they will realize you are a mom and things happen just tell them you didn't realize you did that and you can send the check if they would leave the address and your account number on your machine otherwise you can send it and next month's payment next month if that would be okay. I am still working on how to get some Minions in here and am slightly concerned with the fact that they can be just as crazy as the kids at times. May not be the best thing for my house.