We Had Squirrel For Dinner

Recently, we had squirrel for dinner.

Not a nice large, fat, friendly, squirrel; a nasty, little, evil, red squirrel.

Here's how it happened (because I know you are all wondering how on earth this came about)...

We have an abundance of walnut trees here.  Perhaps you have read about our walnut escapades.  But we have these nasty red squirrels (click the link to learn about them - I like how they call them a "chainsaw with paws").  S1 decided he had had enough of them and set a trap for one in a tree near his shop.  He baited it with on of our abundant walnuts.

I had been at work all day and work days are boy pick up days from school so they were all in the suburban with me when we pulled in the driveway.  "Look," S2 pointed, "It's your hawk!"

S1 has a hawk.  It's a little friendly red tailed hawk.  The problem is, hawk's aren't really pets.  And they eat chickens.  And, we found out, squirrels.  But this hawk seems to like S1 and sorta hangs around his shop and follows him out then he goes hunting.

The hawk caught S1's attention and it suddenly dawned on him that he had, in fact, caught himself an evil red squirrel.

And the hawk, being so friendly and all, had been helping himself to a squirrel leg.

Really.

Anyhow, the boys got the squirrel down and were just as thrilled as could be about it, missing hawk eaten leg and all.

As we happen to be huge Duck Dynasty fans, they really really really wanted to eat the squirrel.

S2 was especially interested in eating the squirrel brain because Miss Kay says they are the best.  And, apparently, squirrel brains make you smart - so says Miss Kay.

Really, there was no reason why I couldn't make the squirrel so I said, "Sure, why not?"

(After typing that sentence I am a little worried about myself.)

The boys cheered.

S1 made short work out of skinning the squirrel.  I walked into the kitchen to find this....

I had already made up a chicken stuffing bake (not knowing the boys would be catching dinner) and since there was so little squirrel meat - especially since it was an evil little tiny red squirrel missing a leg that the hawk had helped itself to - I gave up my piece of meat for the boys to eat.

They were appreciative.

This is the teeny tiny four pieces of squirrel meat cooked in a pan with a small can of cream of mushroom soup.

Daddy seemed to suddenly have an issue with eating squirrel brains so those we did not cook up those.

I only wished I had gotten a photo of the boys eating these ridiculously small pieces of meat.  But seriously, the pride in their eyes because they had put "meat on the table" was adorable.

Later that evening, I had to listen to this conversation....

"We learned on YouTube a better way to skin a squirrel today." Then they told Daddy all the different ways you can skin a squirrel (and other varmints). Daddy then said, "Learning a lot in home school today?" S1's response, "If I know how to do all the math problems in the world but don't know how to properly skin a squirrel, what kind of man would I be?"

It concerns me greatly that this is now hanging on our (only) bathroom wall....

In case you don't believe me that this is now hanging on the wall (it was first cut out and placed on our John Deere stepping stool (where I took this photo) but now it is properly displayed above the hand towel holder), here is a link for the article from Field and Stream. They really wrote an article on how to tan a hide in the bathtub.

Send help. Please. Coffee may not be enough to get me through this one.

Myth Busters Was Right

Today is our first snow day.

The boys had just finished their second breakfast (first was a normal breakfast (cereal, etc), second was pancakes) and they were already asking about lunch as they put on their snow gear to go outside and play in the .... wait for it .... MINUS TEN degree windchill (but sunny) day.

I started on lunch - the famous tuna noodle casserole they we make anytime they have a snow day - and I reminded them that as soon as they get cold, they were to immediately come back into the house where they could have as much hot chocolate as they desired.  I even have mini marshmallows. 

But I was surprised when S3 arrived back in the house so soon after going out to play.

"What's up?" I asked.

His answer is the reason I am blogging this instead of finishing making lunch.

"Oh, we just wanted to see if Myth Busters was right."

"Really, what about?"

"Well, we found out they were right."

He was totally stalling.

"Right about what?" I asked.

"Oh, only if you stick your tongue to a flag pole it will stick there."

I. Did. Not. Panic.

"Really?" I asked, "Did you do that?"

"Yup, and it stuck good but I pulled it off real quick.  Now my mouth tastes funny so I thought I would come in for a little while."

I cannot make this up.

Happy Snow Day to all of you!!!1

(Had to post this movie scene - even if the boys have never watched it.)

PS

After publishing this post, S4 decided to give it a try.

Seriously.

He thought S3 might have been teasing and so he took a nice lick of the pole.

AND, Tom and Jerry showed that your tongue would stick and Tom and Jerry is NOT real.

His tongue stuck.

He is questioning wether Tom and Jerry may, in fact, be real.

Both boys tongues are okay - though missing some skin.

This has not affected their appetite in any way.

I know say, as they head out to play, "Don't lick anything!"

Our First Year of Marriage...Was Awful

Recently, two couples we know were engaged. This fall we attended a fairy tale wedding.  Unfortunately, these weddings and engagements make me... 

1.  Feel super duper old because the couple married was Sue's oldest son - whom I met as a boy MY SON's age now - and the weddings coming up? I was visitor at the hospital when one of them was born and the other couple is one of my other best friends son.  Apparently I have VERY old friends because I am just now 20 and I don't know why this boy taller than me calls me Mama.

2. They instantly make us recall our wedding and that makes us recall our first year of marriage.

3. Jake always begins to corner some poor couple and dispense upon them the stories of horror of our first year of marriage....which sorta ruins the entire bliss of "we'll live happily ever after."

He always begins with, "Our first year as horrible."  He then moves on to, "Hope you like hamburger helper," he then gags, "Cuz we lived on hamburger helper and..." he pauses to shudder, "I can't stand the thought of that stuff."

Today when he said this to the unsuspecting couple I waited for him to follow through with, "But we are happy now and she is a good cook."

Or even, "She can cook now." Or..."We haven't eaten hamburger helper in fourteen years,"

Also, it is worth noting, he won't eat hamburger helper and makes this huge stink about it but he WILL eat canned ravioli and spam.  Yes, spam.

Wait, maybe that makes me sound worse.  And this is my blog.  I like to look good here.

Today he did not follow through with how much better every part of our life is now and when we got home I *may* have cornered him on that.  "You have to follow through with something to look forward to, you can't just make marriage sound terrible.  And maybe they will be happy their first year of marriage."

To which a son will say, "I think you are eating ravioli this week, Daddy."  Which isn't really punishment, hamburger helper would be, however. 

So this is my Sunday rant....

If you are just getting married - guess what, marriage is tough.  It also can be the funnest adventure you have ever been on.  And it goes WAY faster than one can imagine.  

Our first year of marriage was terrible.  Our second year was rough, but better.  Our third year things finally started to click.  And we have seasons where things are rough.  Times when life just hurts.  But it was worth it to pull through.  It's bound to happen again too, tough spots, rough seasons.  But there is no one else I can possibly even imagine spending my life with.

Because I am head over heels in love with my husband. 

I think he kinda likes me too.

He does not, however, like hamburger helper.  Funny though, because the boys DO like hamburger helper and we eat it when he isn't home.

I'll end this ranting post with this video.  This song is sorta our theme song.  When it comes on we grin and say, "Hey, it's our song!"

And this is the song that Jake has been singing all afternoon.  He especially belts out, "Eating burnt suppers the whole first year."

He thinks he is soooooo funny.

I would not want to get married again.  I would like a big ol party with all my friends and me in a new dress but not a wedding reception again.  I would not ever to like to relive that first year we were married - ever.  As in ever ever ever, like Jake never ever wants to eat Hamburger Helper.   Then again, maybe it makes us appreciate us as a married couple now. 

 Am I glad we were married?

You bet.

And I have more fun with him now than I ever imagined, even in my most wild imaginative moments.  

Tough?  Yes.  Worth it?  Totally more than I could ever say.

I Was Nearly Attacked by a Venomous Shrew

I believe I should get some sort of award for not screeching into the phone today and then letting it fall to the floor with a clatter while I was talking to my husband.

I mean, there should totally be a reward for such control of the situation.

What happened?

Oh, I was just nearly attacked by a venomous shrew.

It happened like this...

All week I have had a terrible head cold. The worst part of this cold is the horrific headaches I have been having.  Earlier in the morning my husband had called to check on me and I, being all strong and stoic, began to cry because even my cheek bones hurt.

I am so tough like that.

Anyhow, I had dropped two of the four boys off at school because one is home sick and the other, you recall, is now home-schooled.  I had arrived home and taken the hottest shower I could stand, not carrying how dry my skin would be afterwards, and then I brewed myself a strong pot of coffee.  I had skipped the MucinexD medicine today for some migraine medicine I had recently picked up but really have never thought of buying.

It worked miracles.

I decided I had better call my husband to let him know I was alive and feeling somewhat human again because I could, in fact, not feel my cheekbones any longer and if you can't feel them then you must be feeling better.

I was stirring my coffee and chattering away to him when I heard a rustle, scratch and commotion.  I looked toward the sound but the dog was not lying there scratching herself.

I wandered into the dining room to see where the dog was lying.  She was lying outside on the porch.

I figured something must have fallen out of the full trash (I've been sick, people, my house is a disaster), and continued chatting with hubs.

Until I heard the sound again.

I cautiously walked toward the trash can and there, on my husband's chainsaw blade, was a shrew.

Oh wait, you say, chainsaw blade?  In the kitchen?  Welcome to my life....

"Eeeeeek!" I tried not to scream but I may have screeched, "There is a shrew!  A shrew is in the kitchen!"

"A what?" my husband asked, bracing himself for my all out panic.

"A SHREW," I said slowly and clearly.  "I have to let you go.  I'll call you later."  I may have mumbled out that "LoveYouBye" word but I honestly don't recall.

I ran to the upstairs steps and screamed called for S1 to come down.  I heard his chair drop to the ground as he hustled to get to me.  My sick S3 did not even glance my way as he sat in the chair, glad to have the living room and tv all to himself, totally oblivious to his mother's hysterical cries for his brother.

It's as if hysterics have become common place to him.  Hmmmmmm.

"What?  What is it?" my eldest son asked, ready to come to my defense.  I love that boy.

"In the kitchen!" I cried and then I creeped back into the kitchen to show him where to look.  He was already undoing his leatherman that is always strapped to his side.  "I don't want to look," I said and walked away.  I joined S3 in the living room to watch Bolt with him.

He let me know when the coast was now clear and safe of all shrews.

Because I just couldn't resist, and because they sorta do look kinda cute, I googled Shrews.  This is what I found......

It's like all my worst nightmares.

Venomous shrews attacking, a snake, and all found in the GARDEN...did you notice the asparagus?  Guess what I'll be looking for this spring?

I had no idea shrew's were venomous.  No idea they attacked.  No idea they have to eat EVERY hour.  

This is one more reason why it is so handy to be homeschooling S1.

And upon reading this harrowing account, don't you think I deserve an award?

Oh wait, I have a gourmet cupcake with peanut butter in it from Garden Gate Cafe...I think I have just been awarded for my bravery and coolness under attack.

Also, it should be noted that although I sent my husband a text informing him that we were now safe, he never called me back.  Don't you find that odd?  Shouldn't he have checked on me? I mean, venomous shrew in my kitchen???  

Praise And Coffee - What's Your Story?

It's here!

Praise and Coffee Magazine Winter 2013

The magazine is a big one, over 80 pages long.  It is filled with various women's stories.

We all have our own stories and it is in sharing them that we grow together.

Brew up some coffee, settle in and meet the women in this issue.

Let me know what you think!

I, personally, am THRILLED with this edition.

Honestly, I am every time our magazine goes live but I am really taken with this issue.

IF YOU WANT A PRINT COPY

follow the link to the magazine

Scroll down until it says MagCloud

Click that edition

It will ask you if you want to purchase a print edition

It will cost you just under $17

And then you will have to pay shipping

In about a week, a print edition of the magazine will arrive at your door.

Click HERE for the link

Read the Magazine HERE