The Snake That Got Away

I feel I am stable enough to send this post out (I type as I check under my computer desk again). We have an escaped snake on the loose and I am not really sure where it is.

This is not just any ol snake either. Let me tell you what happened....

Our asparagus is growing insanely fast with this warm humid weather we have here right now. That means I pick the asparagus in the morning and then I pick it again that same night, same plant. It keeps me so busy and yesterday I was headed down to the self serve roadside stand we keep in front of our house to put some more asparagus in the cooler. As I came back up to my front porch, there, on the step that I had JUST stepped off, was the biggest, fatest garter snake I have ever seen.

And I have seen a lot of snakes.

So what did I do? Screamed. I stood in the middle of the driveway and screamed my head off for my boys to come rescue me.

Yup, you read that right. I called on my 10, 8, 6 and 4 year old to come rescue their 30 year old moma. I had to yell loud, they were out in a swampy area cooling off and catching frogs and turtles. But not snakes, no, snakes apparently like the house instead.

Even in my frightened state, it was sorta comical to see all my boys falling out of the woods and running thru the soft ground of the just turned over field to come to my rescue. They are good brave boys. S1 even was advising me as he ran "Just keep an eye on it!" "Watch where it goes!"

It wasn't going anywhere except maybe deeper in the hole in the step. I'd have pictures to show you this but the camera was in the house and to access the house I had to use the step and now you know why there were no pictures taken.

S4 wasn't too sure about that monster of a snake so he kept his distance across the driveway. S3 showed no fear and was ready to just pick it up but S1 arrived just in time to show some caution, which is good because the snake lurched and bit S1's shoe! That was almost my heel! S2 ran to get all the needed supplies to catch the awful thing and in a few moments they had the nasty monster of a snake in the bucket with a lid on it.

I am thankful that the boys I gave birth to could rescue their girly moma.

S1 recalled that a friend of ours wanted a snake so he called him and sure enough, he did. He promised to come for it soon.

The boys all gathered around the snake to check it out. It was missing one eye and had a scar all along its head. They didn't look too long, it kept lurching at them and they didn't want to get bit.

Husband came home and teased us all about how it had gotten loose. Since the boys were keeping it next to the kitchen door, I did not find that funny. Our door needs to be replaced and the whole bottom panel is loose with big hole in it. A cat could easily use it as a door to get in and out of. The hole in it is more than large enough for a snake to fit through.

This morning when we got up, we were running late (again) for school and the boys went out to quickly check on the snake one last time and it was GONE. MISSING!

Now, if you were a mean, one eyed, scar faced snake and you were a mastermind of escape, would you not think you hit the jack pot as you slithered your long self into a cool house?

I was afraid you would think that.

We can't find it. It's long gone somewhere...maybe it's back in its hole on the front step, maybe it's under the deck I walk across to get to the kitchen door (the deck has missing boards in it, and this thing is long enough to just stick it's head up and let me know it's there), or maybe it is in my house.

I have worn my barn boots all day long. And it's about ninety today (or close to it) so those stinkin boots are HOT and I would rather have my heeled cowboy boots but Sadie chewed those to smithereens (and i miss them at least once a week).

If you hear me screaming, you know we found out. And what is going to be worse, finding it hidden somewhere or it disappearing for forever?