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Friday, November 18, 2011

Excuses to Be Late to School

I haven't had an installment of Excuses to Be Late to school in quite some time...because we have actually been on time.

I will let you take in that shocking bit of news for a moment.

Over the shock now?

One or two of those days....we were EARLY.

I know, it is difficult to believe.

But that went amazingly the other way today.

I had to debate long and hard to tell you this story though.  It tells some pretty awful stuff about this family.  But, to understand this story fully, you must hear it all in it's embarrassing horrific details.

My boys rooms are a disaster area.

There, I said it.

I scrubbed their rooms clean in September.  I sorted every single article of clothing.  I dusted every surface.  It was spic and span.

And since then they have gotten it messy and it's been easy for them to clean up.

But of late, it's just awful.  And I haven't had the heart to go back and clean it again.

To clear S1's name, I must say his side of the room is always totally spotless and it drives him batty to live with his brother's sloppiness.

This morning, early early early (so early I didn't even look at the clock), S4 crawled in bed with me.  I awoke with my alarm to a pillow pet, a stuffed dog and an elk in my face...and in the middle of all that was S4.  It was so sweet.

Because at five in the morning - yes, five - I heard S1 roaring down the steps...he is usually my latest sleeper...and S2 squeal with giggles of uncontrollable laughter.

"YOU!" my oldest, neatest, most responsible son roared, "You KNEW it was there!  That's why you shut off all the lights and ran!"

S2 could only laugh hysterically.

I heard some more commotion from the boys and could tell they had moved to the bathroom.  I could not muster the awake-ness to check on them to see what was going on.

Soon I heard the story...our dog who has recently began having issues (as in the dog that would not poop or pee all day if left alone (as rare as that would be) now sometimes cannot make it through the night.  And instead of waking me, she just goes on up to the boys room and leaves it there in hopes no one will notice.  I'm pulling my hair out over this new development.) left a pile of poop in the middle of the room.  S2 seen it on his way down the steps and quickly formulated what he was sure would be the best of plans.

S2 went upstairs - leaving the poop - and jumped on his oldest brother hollering he was late for school and he had better get up and Moma was storming mad he wasn't up.  When S1 began to waken - slowly - S2 ran for the door, shutting out the light and stumbled down the steps giggling.

S1 mutteringly got out of bed, made his way through his spotless side of the room, side stepped the pile of toys and papers S2 has on his side of the room and began the careful cross through S3 and S4's side of the room to reach the door - in the dark - and turn on the light switch, located at the door.

He then stepped in something wet and cold.

And realized immediately by the smell he had been dooped by his brother.

He managed to pummel his brother, clean up his foot, pummel his brother again and then he went back to bed - because he realized it was just after five and even his moma wasn't stirring yet.  He did holler at his brother to clean the nasty mess up.  S2 seen the pile of poop on the clothes and realized his good luck of not having to clean the carpet this time - he just threw all the clothes away that the dog had pooped on.

See, I'm telling you, utter humiliation here.

All the ruckus woke S3, who really did think it was time for school and got himself all good and ready for the day.  He then spent his time drawing pictures.  He then taped the said pictures all over the window next to my computer desk.

S1 ended up unable to sleep anymore and laying in bed thinking what S2 did to him just disgusted him so he decided he might as well get up and start the day.

S2, of course, also got already for school and settled in to read.

But about 6:30 this all was getting boring and they began to wrestle. play football, chase each other through the house.....

I just stumbled for the shower and mumbled something about making sure S4 was out of bed on time.

I should have thought that through a bit more because all three boys took great delight in waking S4 up.

S4 did not find it humorous at all.  He had to recuperate from their rudeness, so he went back to sleep.

And then the brothers did it all over again.

We then had 15 minutes before we had to leave for school.  The three brothers who had been up for forever at this point, went outside to play and wait while this moma was frantically trying to get S4 ready for school.

Outside, S3 decided to chase his brothers with sticks. S4 went out to put his packed back pack in the suburban and ended up diving into the back of the suburban to get away from his brother.  He was so sure he would get caught by his brother he just ducked down and hid in the suburban.

Which did wonders for the moma who was trying to get him ready for school.

We finally got everyone in the suburban, buckled, and took off down the road....

Only to have the back doors of the suburban fly open.

I had to brake fast and pull into the neighbors to shut the doors.

Apparently, when diving into the back of the suburban to hide from your brother you do not think to pull shut the doors behind you.

And then there we were, one of the last families to arrive to school.

Even though they had gotten up at five in the morning.

I am thinking of issuing a new rule - no one gets out of bed before six thirty in the morning.

And that is our newest excuse to be late to school as well as our awfully embarrassing family story.

I'm now off to clean my boys room.  Again.

(In whole other news...Fox 17 will be airing our digital detox story again on Saturday at 10 pm because they liked it so much. Woohoo, how cool is that?!?!?!
I told you Sarah did a great job with it :) )

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