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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Things I NEVER Imagined I'd Do

I've written a post titled this before.  You can read it HERE.  (But Kellyn won't want to since it deals with a boar's head.)

But this is again something I never thought I would do.

Today I went shopping for Jock Cups.  Which, actually, are not called Jock Cups.  They are actually called Flex Cups.  But come on, we all know what Jock Cups are and we wouldn't know what Flex Cups are.  Also, I would not suggest google searching such words.

Anywhoo.

I left the boys to find them for themselves while we shopped for groceries at Meijer.

They came back with chin straps.

This is when I began to get worried.  Because did my boys really want their mama calling for assistance to find jock cups?  Because you know that's what would happen.  They were happy to look for them on their own...and eventually found them.  They kept them in their own cart they pushed around the store, not wanting me to see them at all.

When I went to check out I looked at the selection of jock cups, mouth guards, deodorant, axe spray and sport formula febreeze I had in my cart.


I never thought I would buy these things.

I mean, when my boys were all sweet and little itty bitty, did I ever once pause to think, "Thirteen years from now I will be buying jock cups"?  No.  I did not.

But that's just what I did today.

After the grocery run, we had to head to a doctor's appointment for S1's Sports Physical.  Middle school is new territory for us all and I had no idea that he needed one to play football this year.  And his first ever football season starts Monday.

On our way to the doctor's office, we stopped at Burger King.  The boys have never eaten there.  S1 and S2 were pretty thrilled they had something called a bacon sundae and had to try it. S4 was thrilled there were crowns.  He begged me to wear it and beamed with pride and joy when I wore it out of the restaurant to the suburban.  S1 and S2 didn't quite walk with the three crowned members of their family.

We had a little time to kill and since we had already looked at and purchased jock cups, we headed to Bob's Gun and Tackle.  I mean, why not?  There we purchased ammo, gun cleaning kits, camouflage coat and shirt and various other things I have no idea of.  I also purchased a candle.  I mean, come on, with all this boy stuff I needed a girly candle and shockingly, they had an amazing vanilla smelling candle.

We arrived at the doctor's for the sports physical with the boys telling me what an awesome day this was.

S1 has reached that age where I asked him if he wanted me to tag along in the waiting room.  I acted like it was no big deal but if he had said no I think I would have called a girlfriend to sob that I was no longer needed any longer by my son.  But he did want me there!  He did not want his brothers.

So I gave the other three the biggest stink eye stern face you must behave look I could muster and off I went with S1 to get his sports physical.

Technically it was called a well child check up.

You know, the ones that little babies go to?  The very ones I took him to at three months, six months, nine months...etc.  Now it's once a year...

And now instead of being glad he grew a little I learned he had grown FOUR INCHES in one year.

However, he is exactly one quarter inch shorter than me.

We had thought he was taller but that quarter inch is a big deal and I am still taller! Woohoo!  I did a happy dance, he was crushed.  But he knows it won't last long...he'll beat me in height soon enough.

But when it came time to check "his boy parts", they asked if he wanted his mom there.  "She would probably not like to see this," he said so they ushered me out.

I gave birth to the boy!!! Hello?

But I chatted with all the nurses in the back room and scored a great almond cookie recipe.

When I called Jake to tell him how the appointment had gone, he asked me if the jock cups had jock straps.

I was not aware such things existed.

So, off to the store we went again and stood in front of the jock cups and straps and all sorts of manly things.

After all that, I needed a Biggby.  With an extra shot.


All in all, it was really a pretty great day.

One I may not recover from for some time but great all the same.

And the boys don't seem too traumatized...but again, these are things I never imagined I would do.

What else will I have to do now that they are getting older?

Wait, don't tell me.  I need no more boyish things today.

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