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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

How to Ruin Your Child

The weather is superb over here in my neck of the woods. Any day with full sunshine is wonderful.

We all have been sick though. Everyone but S3. But he broke his glasses, soooo. Actually, it's pitiful. We JB Welded them together (that stuff is amazing) and I had to bend them in again this morning so they look crocked and weird on his face right now. The new part is coming, soon, We hope....

But with my head feeling all stuffy I haven't had much to write to you all about. A few ideas are knocking around in my head but I can't seem to form them all together.

THIS, however, IS knocking a LOT around my head so I decided I would share it with you.
Sunday our pastor gave a great sermon for Fathers. However, it ended up stabbing me in the heart and I can't get it out of my head.

We have been in Ephesians for over a year now. And I'll admit, I am tired of Ephesians. We were out of Ephesians 6:4. I did not expect to get anything out of this sermon at all. But this I can't get out of my mind.

He gave a list of ways to Ruin and Sow Resentment in Kids Hearts. Here it is...

*by neglecting them (putting other things first. The problem at work will still be there on Monday, spend time with them)

*inconsistency in our own lives

*disciplining them only when you feel like it

*double standards (do what I say, not what I do)

*by changing standards (letting one child slide, playing favorites (think Joseph))

*being flighty/moody/childish

*by unreasonable demands (take in account their age, maybe they can't handle the mental weight you are putting on them)
*by humiliating them

*disappointing them (because you find them annoying...making them suffer cuz you can't 'take it' right now. “I would have taken you fishing but you are driving me crazy asking when we can go!”)

*over protection (little birds have to learn to fly sometime)

*favoritism

*expecting them to be the exact replica of us ( a clone )

*comparing them to other siblings

*abusing them (physical, emotional)

*constantly finding fault (do you just harp on them for not taking care of something and not letting them know when they did a good job)

*refusing to listen to them

*1 Corinthians 13, We demand too much of the kids, physically, mentally, socially

*marital conflicts

*pushing achievement

*withdrawing from your kids (you ALWAYS love your kids, not what they do)

Then our pastor said,
“Are your kids seeing you growing and changing? Doing quiet times? Reading the Bible? Invest time NOW in your family because take a mental snapshot of your family and add
five years
then add ten years
fifteen years isn't so far away.

He finished with “God want you to know you cannot do it without Him. Heaven helps the home when we have a teachable spirit.”

So there, that is something to chew on while I work on getting my mind from being all fuzzy with a cold.

1 comment:

Karen said...

Wow. That list really hit a chord with me too. A couple of those really jumped off the page at me. A big one for me is my tendency to be moody. I've always kind of justified it as 'part of my personality'. But how unfair to my children for them to never know when I'll be in a great mood & when I'll be a complete grump. Granted, we all have varying moods, but my moods seem to come & go in giant swings. I already see this same tendency forming in my oldest son.
Thank you for this food for thought.