The other night, I sent my boys to bed at seven pm.
After a rough night with them I just needed them....to go to bed.
When I went to bed, I covered my head with my pillow and prayed for a better tomorrow.
It was only eight pm.
How do I go from waiting excitedly for them to get home from school to being exhausted and frazzled so quickly?
They had come home on a bright sun shiny day. Beautiful weather. The house was spotlessly clean.
I had waited for them to get here so we could make cookies. The three youngest helped me mix them up and were super happy to eat some dough and fill the cookie sheets.
S1 was out checking his trap line and couldn't wait to get in to get a warm cookie from the oven.
An idyllic wonderful day. A blog post was forming already in my head....
But instead of playing, they were already squealing. "Stop!"
"I'm gonna tell!"
"Mooooooooooooooooma...."
It went down hill fast.
By the time dinner was on the table, I was fried. I had helped with three boys homework, read two books to the youngest son, walked into the living room to find I couldn't even see the floor anymore so I just walked out, the dishwasher chose that night to break - completely - and my husband claimed I was in a "grouchy mood."
And I was.
I had just turned into mean mom and hollered to "clean up the living room.!"
"Just don't speak to your brother!"
"I TOLD YOU to SET THE TABLE!"
And so they were sent to bed at seven.
I knew S1 still would be up doing homework but I didn't stay up with him. I didn't care when I heard S3 and S4 running across the upstairs floor or coming down for the fifth drink of water and sixth pee.
I just covered my head with my pillow and pretended to sleep. I prayed tomorrow would be better.
I love my life to pieces, you all know this.
But there are times when my stress level, on a scale of 1 to 10, is high. The last couple of weeks it's at about a nine. And while I still find lots of reasons to find the silliness in the mundane...I thought I would just throw this out there to you all.
I'm just being honest.
Sometimes, being a wife and mom is tough.
Anyone else out there know what I mean?
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7 comments:
Denise, do you see me nodding my head vigorously? We had one of those days yesterday. I just could not take one more minute of bickering, crying, complaining, etc. and by the time John got home, I was flying way off the end of the MamaStressometer.
As a matter of fact, John had planned to work on replacing the radiator in our van last night, but when he came home for dinner he quickly realized it would be in everyone's best interest for Daddy to be home for the evening.
I'm glad you shared this story! It definitely shows in your posts how much you love your boys and how much you cherish all your time with them. But, I also enjoyed this glimpse into the less than ideal moments too. :)
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah . . . .
There were times when I had to have fifteen minutes ~ or thirty. Times when I had to go out on my porch swing BY MYSELF. If I was out there, the kids (all 6) had better not come out and bug me ~ I had better not even hear my name whispered. Kids ~ healthy, noisy kids ~ can be overwhelming. They need to learn that as adults, there are strategies they can use so they won't totally lose it with someone. One of those ways is to withdraw for a little while to breathe and collect your brains off the floor (where they fizzled out your ears)! You're a great mom, Denise. Thanks for sharing!
Yup, it's the "toughest job you'll ever love." (With apologies to the Marine Corp.)
I have been blogging about the EXACT same thing! I totally know how you feel. So much so that it was the topic of discussion with my therapist this week. It's ok. We all go through it. And I'm super close by if you ever need a shoulder or an ear and a good cup of coffe to decompress. Love you!!
Denise....
FYI... it was a full moon this week!!! We all know that it can make us all a little "crazy"!!! LOL!!!
SS
My wife has days like that too. Hugs.
YES! I get it. And I ONLY have 3 boys. GEESH!! You make it look so EASY. I am so glad you're normal. Hahaha! LOVE the blog! Your boys are SO adorable.
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